In Memory of Puffy...

His name wasn't really "Puffy"..When my daughter brought home this tiny, scrawny little kitten 14 years ago, we thought "he" was a "she" and I named him Twinkle. When he was 4 months old I took him to the Vets office to be spayed, she held him up and said "ummm, I think we're doing a neuter today"...LOL, and I said to her laughing "How'd I miss those" :)..So we changed his name to Twink. Then as he grew and become a big strapping guy, my daughter started calling him "Puffy Pantalones" because she thought his hind legs looked like he was wearing pants. That got shortened to Puffy.
He answered to all of the names, as much as a cat answers to anything :)..
I did not know then how important this little creature would be to me, and how much I could possibly love him, or he me.
He was with me through all kinds of problems, illness, etc., and he never left my side when he knew I needed him, which is more than I can say for a lot of people.
Puffy and I had a few go rounds when he was younger..LOL He bit me a half dozen different times and sent me to the ER with one of them! If I'd go away to a show for a few days, he'd bite me when I came home, scolding me for leaving him.
But he settled down as he got older and became very loving the last several years. He slept on the bed with me every night, and in the winter he would curl up in the crook of my legs to stay warm, and keep me warm. My husband used to say that he knew if I had to choose between him or the cat..he knew which one I'd choose, LOL, I'd tell him "Then don't make me choose". :)
Our fur kids are there for us, unconditionally. All they ask is to be loved, fed and cared for..Such a small thing compared to what they give us in return.
We were lucky with the fact that Puffy was always healthy and never had to go to the Vet's for anything other than shots.
He was always strong and healthy, with that male cat attitude that he owned us, not the other way around :).
Towards the fall of last year he developed arthritis in one of his hips. The medication really did no good, and his leg was getting progressive worse and his limp had become more pronounced. I put a little stool by the bed so he could use it get on and off and he did..and at 14 he was slowing down and sleeping more than usual. A week and a half ago, he didn't want his kibble anymore, just his canned food. Each day he was eating less and less and in my heart I knew it was that time. He was tired. The last 3 days he ate nothing, but would just drink water, until yesterday morning, then he couldn't keep water down, and I knew it would be the day. The last several nights I laid by him petting him, holding him  how much I loved him ,and telling I knew he had to go, and it was ok, I'd be alright.
But I'm not alright, my heart feels like it's breaking in half.
Everything I do reminds me of him, I can still smell him and I miss everything about him. That quiet in the night except for the sound of him purring as I pet him..Opening the fridge and him come running to see if he'd get a treat..or even waking me up early in the morning because his food dish was not FULL..
Is this normal to feel his loss so deeply?
Our dog is upset today to because he feels the loss and knows I am upset. He is 13 which means I will go through this again in the near future. I honestly don't think I will ever want another pet, It's just to hard to lose them..I don't know that I could ever love another kitty as much as I love Puffy. He will stay in my heart forever and I will always miss him....he truly was my special little guy..and I only hope I made his life as good as he made mine...